lights will guide you home, and ignite your bones

So, it's been longer than I intended between posts, but my energy's been flagging lately, and I didn't have new pics of the ferrets (neither do I have them now!  but!).

Things I've done:

- finally got around to updating Dr. Paul's office about Anya and Hiko (and a bit for Sian and Yogi, though they only received their distemper vaxes)

- fed and watered and cuddled all the ferts (which, with how I've been, is pretty good.  Well, the last is.  Don't ever think I wouldn't feed or water my guys.  Word fail, there :C )

- delayed cleaning rooms!  so now I've got to do it, and now it's going to be a huge undertaking.  yay.

- cried.  calmed down.  cried.  cried some more.

- stared at pictures (like this one:

for example).  Stared at the incredible, heartbreaking sketches of Ben my sickeningly talented sister has made for me (and which I'll post pics of, on this, when I get the last one framed).

- avoided looking at Ben's temporary urn.  mostly avoided thinking about what's in said temporary urn.

- Listened to Fix You repeatedly.

- Finally deleted Dr. Stewart's voicemail, from when Pixie was declining.  Because even I have limits on how much masochism I can withstand.

Things I plan to do:

- Get some pics of the ferrets!  Especially Anya - she is so adorably, pathetically cute with her coat in! She looks like a baby.

- Get Anya in to the local vets for a nail clipping, because she still won't allow me to do it, and she needs one.  Badly.

... that's about all I really want to plan, at this point.

Here, here's a fert pic:

An old one, of course, but one of my very favorites.  Oh, my guys.

stubborn ferrets, unexpected voice mails, and masochism

So, Anya's being incredibly stubborn about even trying the new kibbles (just a little pinch of each, and she digs in it, scatters it, drops it in her water bowl.  She has even, the adorable brat, went potty in her water bowl in protest, as well as taken up alligator rolling at my feet to let me know just how upset she is. Oh my god, bb, it's only like TWO pieces of new kibble, calm down and EAT.)

She also is coughing more.  I don't know what that means, but she started, like, as soon as she got home from the vets Thursday.  You know, after we got the "everything looks and sounds great!" from Dr. Paul.  Oh, of course.

Still waiting on Hiko's results, so haven't gotten any calls.  And I've been on tenterhooks about it, checking my phone and messages like a maniac.  It wasn't helped that I had two voice mails from numbers I didn't recognize (not the vet), then it got into my saved messages, where I had apparently saved Dr. Paul informing me that Pixie's test results were Not Good and that he needed to speak with me.

Because I'm a masochist, I listened to it twice, and I remembered when I first got that message, busy with practicum, thinking, we know what it is, there's hope, when in reality it marked the beginning of so much pain and heartache and guilt.  The beginning of the end.

And I still have the message saved.

wave the white flag, bad news comes in droves

School and practicum have been bummers lately (i.e. I'm experiencing ... conflict with others that's not doing me any favors in the evaluation department). So of course, bright and early, I find two voice mails on my phone (it's been acting up lately and not holding a charge). It's Pixie's vet. Apparently some of her bloodwork came in, and there were abnormalities in it that he had not expected, and needed to talk to me.

I called as soon as I got the messages, but the vet was busy with another client. Since I was on the clock for practicum, I couldn't take a long drawn out call, or wait around for when the vet was free in the morning to consult. I told them to call my mom and talk with her.

Long story short? There's reason to believe Miss Pix may have kidney disease. That's right, on top of adrenal, tumors and cancer, she could possibly have kidney issues. Now, Wednesday morning, instead of the exploratory surgery we had planned, Pixie will start the morning by having a needle inserted into her urethra and up into her bladder to extract urine "from the source," and have that compared to her blood work. If the same issues are seen, the surgery's off, and we're left with trying to nudge the suspicious mass in her intestines into a better position to view on ultrasound (rather than getting direct observation via surgery).

Problems don't end, do they? Add on top of that, this vet's anti-raw views, and he's making noises about high protein raw diet and renal issues ... which all evidence points to the fact that high protein diets are only truly antagonistic when the ferret is on KIBBLE, without protein readily available in the food (even high protein kibble has fillers that the body must first process and dispose of).

Still, I'm getting my big guys on a natural diet versus a raw diet (where the babies are still going to be on a predominantly raw diet, with some whole prey thrown in). This way the phosphorous-calcium ratio stays in balance, and the vet should breathe easier (he'd prefer whole prey to frankenprey, if I'm going to be "stubborn" about diets).

So far they're eating mice and quail, and by "eating" I mean Hiko LOVES the mice, and it's anyone's guess which of the others will eat them on any given day. But it's still progress compared to years before.

I know they'll eat chicks (but those are like candy, and not meals). I'm left with rats, gp's, and rabbits as my third source. I'm really not looking forward to THAT decision. The mice kill me as it is. I want them so badly not to be dead OR food, no matter it's doing my babies a world of good. It's still heartbreaking.

We'll see, we'll see, we'll see. I'm ready for some good news. I NEED some good news.

Please.

I'm sorry; your big, swirly cape distracted me...

So, as my first entry I'll explain what's going to be in this blog. My animals. There. That's really about it. I have other journals for day-to-day stuff; I just decided that 'hey, I need a place to just write about my guys.' And since I'm an animal lover, I went and did just that.

So. Welcome.

To start: my family has twelve pets, total. I myself have four: a dog named Ben, a cat named Callie, and two ferrets--Pixie, who is a 3 year old female sable standard and Yogi, who's an almost 5 mo. old male hooded chocolate. These two are going to be the main subjects ;)

More info: I feed raw diets to my dog and ferts. My cat is recalcitrant about it (ever since she got attacked by a praying mantis, she's scared of any type of food items that is not kibble). So, I'm kind of a big advocator of it. Sorry if that gets annoying. Also? Any type of animal-related topics will most likely be discussed here. Vets and antics and behaviors and routines and rants about all and sundry. You get the point :)

Well, that's the intro. Whew.